Because Life Happens... Get A Life Coach
Boca Raton Observer Magazine
May 2006
By: Suzy Girard-Ruttenberg

You've heard that oh-so-true lyric from John Lennon, “Life is what happens when you're making other plans.”

Well, he had it exactly right when it comes to women.   Our lives are so complicated, often too complicated – and it's not like we designed it that way.   We just live in demanding times.   Stuff happens.

We start out in one direction, only to find ourselves moving in a dozen others.   We're loving nurturers at home.   Involved parents at school.   Baseball or soccer Moms.   Team players at the office.   Leaders in the community.   Who knew we would become all these people – at once ?  

For many years, psychotherapy was the primary professional avenue available to help overwhelmed women analyze and understand these demands and the ensuing stress, anxiety and even guilt caused by them.   This has started to change. One trend watcher was even bold enough to conclude recently that “personal growth is hot, diagnosis is not.”   

Enter the women's life coach.  

A life coach's purpose is to help you remove the “overwhelming” part from your life and focus your attention on your passions, helping you transform them into actions that produce bold but achievable goals.

You become proactive, rather than reactive. Life coaching is designed to help you create a vision for your future.   It supports you in making the type of changes in your life necessary to get you into mental, physical and spiritual balance.

Life coaching is "action-oriented, solution-oriented, and concentrates on forward motion," not looking at the past, says Laura Berman Fortgang, a life coach based in Montclair, N.J., and author of Living Your Best Life . Her clients, she says, are smart, educated people who want to make radical changes.

"We are not talking about being incompetent or weak," Fortgang says. "They are normal, everyday people who have their lives together. They realize the value of having somebody to help them think outside the box."

With the ranks of life coaches swelling to over 10,000 last year in the U.S. alone, many work exclusively with a female clientele.

But how do you know if life coaching could make a difference for you?   Ask yourself if any of the following statements apply:

•  You are pulled in so many different directions that you don't feel 100% effective at any one thing.
•  You would like to have more passion in your day-to-day living but aren't sure how to focus on what is really important to you.
•  Every day feels like a race to get it all done instead of an opportunity to do what you really love.
•  You have difficulty prioritizing and establishing personal goals.
•  You wish you had greater balance in your life.
•  You are tired of saying “someday” about your dreams.
•  You are struggling to find your purpose.
•  You would like to be a more effective communicator.
•  It's hard for you to say “no.”
•  You are tired of being afraid.
•  You keep doing the same thing but hoping for different results.

If two or more of the previous statements describe your life, then life coaching may be right for you. Here are some things to look for when choosing a life coach:

•  Start with – What If? :   Before you hire a coach, ask yourself where the biggest “What ifs” are in your life – things that seem impossible to design but, if put into place, would transform your life. Identifying these before you hire a coach may help you determine who is best positioned to support you.

•  Chemistry :   The coach-coachee relationship is one built on confidentiality, trust and the permission to go where no one has been invited to go before.   It is important that you feel trust toward the coach who challenges your choices.        

•  Success stories: Nothing is a better indicator of good coaching than a friend or associate who has made changes through the support of a coach. Ask those you respect most for recommendations.   If you meet the coach on your own, request to speak with a few of her clients before making the hire.

•  Try before you buy : Life coaching can run from $100/hour to $500/hour.   Experienced coaches will have programs to choose from that fit within your budget and at a level that gives you a chance to try before you commit to anything longer term.

•  Programming variety :   Sometimes we all need to hear the same thing a few different ways before it sinks in.   Some coaches provide a variety of coaching support, including group facilitation, one on one, couples or family coaching, courses and workshops.   This variety can help accelerate how fast you ‘absorb' the coaching.

•  Measurable short-term benefits:   Good coaching should have immediate results. If you do not experience meaningful results within the first 60-90 days, you are either not taking the coaching seriously or the coach is not effective. Setting clear goals for the first three months is an important way for you to measure the return on your investment and the effectiveness of the coach.

•  A Whole Life approach:   Match the coach with your needs.   If you need to stop working 18 hours a day, you may need the support of a life coach who also has ‘business coaching' experience. This coach can help you implement structures at work that will free you up to redesign other areas of your life.

Keep in mind, life coaching is not a treatment for depression or a substitute for professional counseling with a licensed mental health professional. Instead, it's a process to help you simplify – and redesign – your life, home and schedule. In the process, you can develop new skills for rewarding relationships, discover old passions and new purposes, and move past blocks and fears with newfound strength.

Because life happens, life coaching is about helping you clarify the life you want, to get back on track – and to pursue the dreams you've always desired.

***

Suzy Girard-Ruttenberg is a highly-regarded life coach who empowers women to live with passion and purpose.   A nationally-recognized speaker, Suzy is also an executive business coach for local and national business owners.   She leads a coaching group for women business owners twice a month in Boca Raton, Florida, and will launch a similar program for women executives in November 2006.     Suzy can be reached at: suzy@girard-associates.com or 561-883-6006 (ext. 1)